What if you skipped reading this column?

Counterfactuals are fun. ‘Relating to, or expressing what has not happened, or is not the case’ may seem like the kind of the thing that goes on in the devil’s workshop. Some of the righteous lot would even consider it as a kissing cousin of ‘fake news‘ and ‘deepfake‘. But considering what would happen if, say, kangaroos had no tail (they would topple over), ‘counterfactuating’ is a mental exercise that has its entertaining charms and sharpening functions.

‘What ifs?’ are mostly played with historical events. What if Hitler got into art school and pursued a successful artistic career? What if the demolition dadas got bored after the initial rod-flexing and went home to enjoy their Sunday differently on December 6, 1992? What if Travis Head’s catch to dismiss Rohit Sharma in the World Cup final was disallowed? Alternate histories then flow from the counterfactual like a stream from a different bend in the river (that doesn’t exist). ‘What ifs?’, be warned, can be painful, trapping the questioner in a dead end of forever-thinking about what would have happened if things turned out (happily) different. So, counterfactuate only if you’re not in the thought experiment, keeping a distance between yourself and the ‘otherwise’ event. Remember, there are innumerable ‘What ifs?’ that present unhappier alternatives than what really turned out.