This sex toy makes my life so much more pleasurable – not just in the obvious way

I was first introduced to sex toys when I was a teenager.

It was my 16th birthday and two of my male friends thought it would be hilarious to give me a neon pink silicone dildo.

Far from being embarrassed, I actually found it quite funny but I can’t say the product itself was all that inspiring (it was less of a climax tool and more of a cheap gag gift you get from dodgy websites).

As an adult, I’ve tried endless variations of sex toys and while my favourites come and go, recently I’ve found a real winner: the Smile Makers Billionaire Vibrator.

It’s small but mighty, with four speeds and two pulsation modes. It’s also vegan and cruelty-free, waterproof and pretty easy to clean.

With May being Masturbation Month, I’d like to give credit where credit is due and explain how this product has helped me in my day-to-day life, as well as encourage others to give sex toys a go.

As a sex and relationships journalist, I am often spoiled for choice when it comes to trying new bedroom products. I receive quite a few samples (yes, it’s a good life).

Some – unused, of course – have found new homes among my friends. Like when I received a fleshlight and gifted it to a male friend for obvious reasons (I don’t have a penis) or the elaborate pegging device that wasn’t quite to my taste (no kink-shaming here but we all have our preferences).

Days later, I usually receive a thankful text or splashing water emojis, no further details required.

One pal in particular had never really enjoyed masturbating but had a jolly time with a particularly large product that looked more like a back massager than a vibrator.

Although I am a big advocate for self-pleasure and sex toys, up until recently I rarely used them myself – most of them are shoved in a bag in the back of my closet. More often than not, it feels like too much faff compared to my hands.

Until I was randomly sent a sample of the Billionaire Vibrator, that is.

Having never tried a Smile Makers product before, I was curious about the sexual wellness brand but didn’t have any special expectations, negative nor positive. Discovering the sex toy was more of a happy accident.

I saw the still-sealed box sitting on a shelf in my house and one day just thought, ‘hell, why not?’ – and that was it.

One of my pet peeves is keeping track of chargers and making sure that my toys have enough juice when I reach for them. And if they don’t, it ruins the mood.

But this little purple treat takes batteries – and can last up to four hours. It’s one of the main reasons I love it.

Oh my, it’s a good buzz, quite literally.

Speaking purely in orgasm power, the product isn’t the strongest sex toy out there. Others, like Lovehoney’s Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator and LELO’s Sona 2 clitoral massager have given me mindblowing orgasms in record time – but it’s perfect for me.

It’s also a discreet size, which makes it ideal for introducing with sex partners. I’ve used the Billionaire – which I’ve affectionately named Lila, due to its pretty lilac shade – with a few men so far, because it helps me achieve or boost my orgasms during sex.

While the men I sleep with are usually quite open-minded, I can imagine some of them feeling threatened if I brought out the big bad triple-threat ‘monster’ that is gathering dust in my goodie drawer.

It’s usually bigger than the average man’s penis and offers clitoral, vaginal and anal stimulation – though I don’t actually use it solo either.

(Side note: men, please be proud of your dicks regardless of size, they are beautiful).

Lila is inoffensive and cute. She’s not the star of the show but a charming guest appearance, without whom the production could go on but wouldn’t be quite as colourful.

And the sex toy is small enough to use during intimate missionary sex, easily slid between two bodies.

For me, though, masturbation isn’t just about climax or pleasure – it goes much deeper than that.

I’m very passionate about my work but it can also be incredibly stressful. I suffer from anxiety, as well as bouts of insomnia and have a hard time shutting off.

I’ve tried meditation, sleep apps, journaling etc – none of it works for me. Lifting weights is helpful but my gym isn’t open at night time, when my mind is particularly active, running a mile a minute.

Masturbation, however, has no time limitations and my sex toy is conveniently located next to my bed.

This is one of the best ways I know how to slow things down and I say this proudly. This is my time, a moment to reconnect with myself and my body, and it also makes me appreciate it more.

In these instances, I don’t necessarily want to climax with speed. I want to relax into the sensations, feeling my body slump afterwards as the stress dissipates.

I get a hit of nature’s own happy hormones; the post-orgasm bliss can last for hours.

I have a high sex drive – but off and on, I (like most people) experience a lull in my libido.

So while I first started using my purple vibrator because it was convenient, it has also helped me get over the initial hump by providing additional stimulation.

Like jump-starting a car, if you will. It’ll run just fine once it gets going but sometimes, we all need a little help getting in the mood.

Throughout my professional and personal life, I’ve encountered many people who feel shame or fear by the idea of using sex toys.

This is natural, but if you feel this way, I encourage you to reframe your thinking. Think of it this way: you wouldn’t deny yourself technology to improve other areas of your life, so there’s nothing wrong with attempting to ‘upgrade’ your sexual experience.

Despite having previously thought of myself as a ‘hands-only’ woman, when it comes to solo play, now I frequently find myself reaching for my Billionaire Vibrator.

We’re good friends, my sex toy and I.

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