BB: They’re winning by a mile, and then some.
GG: Who? The Democrats? The Republicans?
BB: The heck with those donkeys and elephants! I’m talking about ET and TOI and those Indian presswallas who are beating us hands down, thanks to the electoral advantage they’ve got.
GG: I get it. Indian journos get to cover the biggest, most expensive election ever, with 96 million voters, 62 parties, a price tag of $14.4 bn, and spotlight on a super showman famous for his ability to shoot from the quip.
BB: Exactly. And what do we get to cover? A two-horse race, in which one guy’s a MAGAlomaniac, and the other gets his French presidents mixed up. How can we make things less ho-hum and more humdinger?GG: How about hatching a conspiracy theory? That should liven things up.BB: Great idea! A conspiracy theory should be about someone who’s the biggest buzzword.
GG: How about that Taylor Swift, who’s got more buzz surrounding her than a swarm of bees on ecstasy?
BB: You’ve got it! Forbes has listed her as the first singer to make over a billion dollars from her songs and tours. ‘Swiftie’ now means a Taylor fan, and it can now be used in Scrabble. Malaysia and Singapore have got into a spat because the latter signed a contract with her that doesn’t permit any neighbouring country to hold a Swift concert when she does her Singapore gig.
GG: So, how about we spread the word that Pentagon is employing Taylor in a psy-op ploy to trump Trump and make the other fella a shoo-in? Or considering Pentagon’s dirty tricks department’s involvement, a boo-in?
BB: But why would anyone believe that Pentagon would want to keep Trump out and get the other guy in?
GG: Simple. Pentagon stands for the military-industrial complex (MIC), right? And all Trump wants to do is build a wall to fence Mexico in, a project, which will benefit not MIC but the civilian-industrial complex (CIC), which is another name for Trump Towers. And that’s enough to give any MIC a complex of a different kind — an inferiority complex.
BB: Got it. Is there any more conspiracy stuff we can bung in?
GG: There sure is. Taylor’s in what’s called a relationship with footballer Travis Kelce, whose team, Kansas City Chiefs, won the NFL Super Bowl, which Trumpeters say was rigged so that Taylor could have used the occasion to announce her endorsement for the other bozo.
BB: But she didn’t use the occasion to announce her endorsement for anyone or anything, not even her preferred brand of private jet plane, let alone a presidential candidate. How does that work?
GG: We can always say she was Biden her time. If we can establish that a Taylor-Kelce-Pentagon cartel could rig a Super Bowl, rigging a White House election would be a cakewalk, a Super Sundae with a cherry on top.
BB: How about we include an official disclaimer from the White House as a kicker, where the incumbent categorically states that he does not know whatsoever about any Pentagon-sponsored songstress who’s supposed to be backing him, and as a matter of fact, he’s never even met this Madonna dame, so there!
GG: We could have the Trump camp rework their slogan to imply that they’ve got another musical maestro’s support: Make America Gaga Again.
BB: Wow! That should certainly get a mention in Sunday ET!
