I am the first to admit that it takes a lot of endurance to put the other person first, especially when your efforts seem to be met with indifference. When you start giving another person your best, especially in an emotionally entangled relationship, he may not notice it for weeks. This kind of indifference can really sting. You want to go up to him, tap him on the shoulder, and say, ‘Hello, Thomas, I’ve just been kind to you.’ Thomas would say, ‘Oh, thank you, I didn’t even know it’ – not because he was trying to be rude but because he was preoccupied with himself.
To be patient and go on giving your best, you can’t have expectations about how other people are going to respond. You can’t afford to ask, ‘Does he like me? I’ve been putting him first for two whole weeks, and I don’t think he even cares.’
What does it matter? If you go on putting him first, you’re growing. You’re learning how to rub off the edges and corners that make human relationships difficult. You are becoming the kind of person that everyone wants to be with, that everyone admires and feels comfortable with.
