How do I stop getting annoyed by everything?

Is there anything more aggravating than having to listen to someone else’s TikTok feed on the Tube? I thought technology was meant to make our lives better, but improving the phone signal on the London Underground this year has not improved my mood. On the Richter scale of annoyance this ranks well above someone reading the newspaper over my shoulder. 

Do I ever say or do anything about it? Don’t be ridiculous. I stew. 

I do it a lot — I sometimes wonder if modern life is more annoying than it has ever been: 20mph limits on roads where there shouldn’t be; daily standing charges for energy that bear no relation to usage; temporary traffic lights; bins only being emptied once a fortnight. I can’t do anything about any of these: a shrug of the shoulders is as good a response as any. 

There’s plenty for people like me to feel enraged about: the sports club I chair will have to find the means to pay increased employee national insurance contributions

As a speech radio presenter, it’s my job to get annoyed. Raging at governments staffed by inexperienced numpties. Riled by companies stuffed with people who lack basic business or communication skills. And exasperated by the fact that every person I meet in the next generation seems to be making vast sums of money from thin air.

Is it me? Is it age? And if it is, how can engage with modern world, and be less annoyed?

There’s plenty for people like me to feel enraged about: the chancellor’s tax raid on business, for one. The sports club I chair, a not-for-profit organisation, will have to find the means to pay increased employee national insurance contributions, whether through reduced costs or increased subscription fees. Almost half the business owners polled by the CBI this week said they would be forced to lay off staff as a result — and this was meant to be a Budget for growth. Farmers are furious, so are pensioners.

But if we’re honest, what gets the blood pressure up is almost always the little stuff. Social media tops my list. Made worse because it’s self-inflicted. I choose to scroll through the socials, bombarded with dyed-haired, tattooed youths making money being “influencers”. Logan Moffitt — aka “Cucumber Guy” — shares his videos with 6.6mn followers on TikTok and nearly 2mn on Instagram. He makes food from cucumbers, mixing them with an incomprehensible list of ingredients before slurping them up like a hungry spaniel. I don’t see how anyone makes a living doing that. Yet he does. 

According to RaboResearch, cucumber sales to Australian 17 to 35-year-olds are up by 32.5 per cent between September 2023 and 2024. Analysts do not think this is a coincidence.

I remember interviewing one influencer, asking the question that should not be asked. How much do you earn? About £60,000 came the response. Pretty good annual salary for a 20-year old, I replied. “No. £60,000 a month,” before telling me that was before any deals they’d signed with brands or for public appearances. 

What’s really annoying about this is how it’s funded — ultimately by companies devouring our data, yours and mine, applying algorithms and serving us up supposedly targeted advertising for things such as natural deodorants, light-up capybaras, or the incessant call to action because we once bought a car on finance.

But instead of getting in a jealous tizz about it, perhaps we should look to the next generation as an inspiration. 

After all, is the influencer business model really more irritating than seeing company directors receiving bonuses after presiding over a catastrophic mess? Maybe that’s a question for water companies’ bosses as I look at my latest bill that’s just gone up. With Gen-Z, there’s no reward for failure. If your content isn’t watched, you don’t get paid. 

Is the influencer business model really more irritating than seeing company directors receiving bonuses after presiding over a catastrophic mess?

A therapist I know had little sympathy for me. While anger is a problem that needs to be addressed, they told me, annoyance is a matter of daily life. General advice includes exercising regularly, I already do that. And I’m unlikely to take up yoga or mindfulness.

What I’ve started doing is trying to analyse why something irritates me and reframe it. After all, why am I annoyed by people who videocall their friends in public without using earphones? It’s hardly as if I’d be cross if their friend was standing next to them.

Maybe I should be more patient with supermarket shoppers who wait for everything to be beeped before they remember that perhaps they should put the stuff in their bags. Or the simmering anger when it’s my turn and find I’ve left my bags in the back of the car and need to pay 30p for new ones. Remembering to take them with me is a simple solution to the problem — it’s my fault, not the universe’s. 

The reality is, I should worry less about a pervasive lack of manners and changes in how we communicate and more about navigating our new technological world if I’m to continue financing the fizz to drink and the international travel to holiday. At 54, I’m no longer the young talent coming through. If there’s any lesson to be learnt, it’s that the next generation will rule the world. And you’re either part of it, or a dinosaur ripe for extinction.

So I’m off to buy some cucumbers, but I can’t bring myself to get a tattoo. 

James Max is a broadcaster on TV and radio and a property expert. The views expressed are personal. X, Instagram & Threads @thejamesmax