Garry Starr: the 10 funniest things I have ever seen (on the internet)

Golly gosh, I love the internet! To think when it was first created we were concerned it would bring out the worst in humanity; dividing us and destroying the very fabric of our society. Thankfully, we’re now more patient with one another, our attention spans are vastly improved and democracy has never been stronger. It has been exhilarating to watch intrepid explorers venture to the extreme ends of the world wide web and discover that if you travel far enough you might just find common ground. Now, we all agree cat videos are the funniest thing ever created.

So it is with great pleasure I have compiled a list of funny internet videos that do not contain cats. It has been unanimously agreed if I were any type of animal I would be a retriever of some sort. Likely a Labrador retriever. Probably a golden Labrador retriever. Very possibly a golden Labrador retriever named Stella who jumps into piles of leaves and sniffs bottoms, as these are things I feel compelled to do even in human form.

1. Stella jumping into piles of leaves

The first time I watched this video I was sitting on my friend’s couch and laughed so hard I fell to the floor. I then watched it over and over until I couldn’t breathe. I have since learned this is called a “guffaw”. I’m very disappointed that #guffawnication hasn’t become a trend.

2. This rendition of the 20th Century Fox theme

Although musical knowledge is not something I pride myself on, I’m fairly certain this is a recorder rather than a flute. Either way, this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. The very fact that 20th Century Fox hasn’t adopted this as its official theme tune is unbelievable.

3. The ‘apparently’ kid

Apparently this kid is now famous and apparently he appeared on Ellen and apparently his own YouTube channel now has close to 85,000 followers and apparently going viral at a young age maybe isn’t the greatest thing that could happen to you. (That last bit is an assumption based on what I’ve seen on his YouTube channel.)

4. This talking dog

The fact that this dog is able to speak actual human words is nothing short of astounding. It has been suggested this is a deep fake and the voice is actually that of the dog’s owner. To those naysayers I say, “Covered it with what?”

5. People ‘accidentally’ mispronouncing Jeremy Hunt’s name

Whoever decided to make Jeremy Hunt the UK’s culture secretary is clearly a lover of spoonerisms.

6. This man who turned his dead cat into a drone

OK, when I said this list wouldn’t contain any videos of cats I clearly only meant living cats. This man is a true hero. This is my official consent that when I die I would like to be made into a drone and used in combat.

7. This family trying to sing opera

Few things enkindle laughter more than watching others try not to laugh.

8. Grape lady

This is the very first video from the internet I remember seeing that made me laugh until snot ran down my face. It is funny watching people fall over and injure themselves, that is undeniable – but the thing that really tickles me here is the reaction of the two hosts when we return to the studio.

9. Ali G on the dangers of drugs

Everything Sacha Baron Cohen does is masterful but there is no single moment of brilliance as beautifully captured as the moment he responds “thank you” to the suggestion that his body is beautifully constructed. He then very nearly corpses.

Having toured for a few years with a delightful Italian idiot/clown named Giorgio Vierda who constantly misheard or misunderstood English words, this video brought me immense joy. The clown troupe was called A Plague of Idiots and was made up of people from France, Switzerland, Italy, England and Australia. We communicated in English but so much of the hilarity we found both inside and outside of the show came from misunderstanding. Carlo and Sarah brought this all flooding back.