Opinions

Assuming I'm perfect


What is that one thing, which when you assume about yourself, you have all the reasons to be in discord with others? I would say, it is your assumption of perfection. Be it between husband and wife, friends and relatives, or even student and teacher, the apple of discord is the intrinsic assumption, ‘I am perfect’, or ‘I can’t err’.

A self-realisation that since no man is perfect except God, so you are also imperfect, can end your discords. Only when you assume yourself to be an imperfect being, you are rational, and can be in accord with other imperfect beings.

Jean-Paul Sartre said, ‘Hell is the others.’ But without others, we are nothing. The ‘good life’ is not a solitary existence. So, the solution to ‘good life’ lies in changing the core assumption that I’m perfect. There should be a realisation that I need to engage in conversations without judgement. I also need to realise that neither am I perfect nor it is reasonable to expect perfection from others. I’m not perfect, and I commit that I will continue to grow and heal, too.

Assuming ‘I’m perfect’ stops you from learning to be better. It also deprives you from the desire to reach near perfection (God) by inculcating virtues like compassion, forgiveness, patience, altruism, etc. The Buddha supposedly said, ‘What is that one thing, which when you possess, you have all other virtues? It is compassion.’ Living compassionately involves being passionate to know feelings and virtues of others, wholeheartedness, attention without predisposition, having trust and sincerity. And a perfect realisation, ‘I never met a man I didn’t like.’

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